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| Delicias, Chihuahua, Mexico 2005 This is one of the few framed pictures I have and it sits on my desk |
Ten years ago today I woke up feeling nervous and excited at the mission offices of the Mexico Chihuahua Mission. The previous day I had taken a bus from where
I had been serving in Delicias to the city of Chihuahua.
I hadn't told a lot of people I was going home, but a number of people
figured it out and came to the bus station to say goodbye. One of them was a man I had baptized named
Gabriel. He gave me a decorative plate
that says "DELICIAS" on it that I carried all the way home fearing it
would break in my bag. It's still on the wall at
my parents' house.
Saying goodbye to everyone at the bus station was one of the
oddest experiences of my life. I had
lived in Mexico for two years and these people had become like family to
me. Mexico was my home and everything there felt familiar to me. I didn't know if I'd ever see them again and
saying goodbye to them broke my heart.
And yet, I was so excited to be going back to Washington because that
was actually my home and I had a real family there that I hadn't seen in two
years. I felt like I was dying --
leaving a place and people I loved to return home to be with other people that
I loved.
President and Sister Torres drove me and the only other
American going home that day to the airport.
I hugged them goodbye and got on the plane. My first layover was in Monterrey,
Mexico. We had a four hour layover there
and I had brought a bunch of old issues of the Ensign
to read. After sitting in an empty
terminal for over an hour an airline employee came over and asked, "Are
you BenjamÃn?" No one had referred
to me as Ben for two years, but I said that I was. She informed me and the other missionary that our flight had been cancelled and that she would help us book another
flight.
After a few minutes of typing on her computer this lady was
able to find a way to get me home about four hours later than planned. As politely and firmly as I could I said,
"Look, I haven't been home for two years and I just want to go home. Is there anything you can do to get me home
sooner?" A few more minutes of
typing and she was able to get me back to Seattle 30 minutes earlier than my original flight. I immediately called the mission offices to
tell them about my new itinerary. Sister
Berry, one of the senior missionaries, answered the phone. She told me she'd call my parents to inform
them of the change and in her grandmotherly way told me how much she loved me and would miss me.
We then flew to Dallas (or was it Houston?) where the other missionary and I parted
ways. We hadn't know each other very
well, but he insisted that we exchange contact information. So to be polite I gave him my phone number and
address knowing he'd never call (he never did).
We hugged and then for the first time in two years I was without a
missionary companion. About an hour
later I was walking around the airport and I saw the other missionary off in
the distance. I didn't want to have
another awkward goodbye with him so I hid behind a pillar so he wouldn't see
me.
During my mission almost all the Americans I saw were Mormon
so I had gotten used to equating being white with being Mormon. As I walked around the airport I was stunned
by how many Mormons there were everywhere and I had to remind myself that not
everyone there was Mormon. Being in the
US felt very uncomfortable.
I got to my gate, sat down by myself, and promptly
started to internally freak out. I had
just left behind what I'd dedicated the last two years of my life to and my
life was suddenly incredibly different.
And I was alone and that felt so weird.
I just sat in my chair worrying for a few minutes until a middle aged Mormon business man walked up to me and asked, "Are you on your way home from your
mission?" I told him that I was and
he, probably sensing my concern, then asked, "Would you like me to sit with
you? I can be your companion until we
get on the flight." I gratefully
accepted his offer and we chatted for a while which really helped me to relax.
When I got on the plane I started fretting again. I was feeling so stressed and I was so
exhausted that I fell asleep before the plane took off and I slept through take
off. I woke up to the flight attendant
handing the guy sitting next to me his drink.
As he grabbed the drink I heard him say, "Gracias." I looked at him and asked if he spoke
English. He didn't. He was from Mexico and was going to visit his
daughter in Seattle. He asked how I knew
Spanish and I told him all about my mission.
Just being able to speak Spanish, to do something familiar, really
calmed me down. During that conversation
all my worries left and I didn't feel nervous again. A tender mercy.
When I got off the plane my sister was standing at the gate
waiting for me. She had flown in from
Utah just a few minutes before me. I wasn't expecting to see her at the gate and we both hugged and jumped up and down like
a pair of thrilled idiots. It was
awesome. We hurried out to the main part
of the airport to meet up with the rest of my family. I think we walked, but I was so excited we
may have run. When we left the security
area I saw my parents standing there cheering with excitement. They were wearing the bright yellow jackets
they always wore so that they'd be easy to spot in a crowd (my parents' fashion
sense could be defined as "practical"). We all hugged and it was marvelous. Any sense of fear or trepidation I'd felt
about returning home was gone forever.
My brother and sister-in-law were there, too, with my 21 month old
nephew whom I'd never met. My brother
said, "Where's Ben?" and my nephew pointed right at me. After two years of being Elder Schilaty I was
Ben again.
As we all walked to the baggage claim I exclaimed, "This
is so awesome!" and I hugged my parents again. That is what I was doing ten years ago
today.
While my whole life has been pretty great, the last ten years
have probably been the best. I've grown
and learned and experienced so much. And
a great deal of what has happened has been unexpected. By now I thought I'd be married with a few
kids, have a stable career, and a house, but that's not what has happened. If you had told 21 year old Ben that in ten
years he's be getting a PhD, would be openly gay, but active in church, still
single, and incredibly happy I know he wouldn't have believed you. But my life is great. I feel just has happy and content as
ever. I'm so grateful for my mission and
so grateful for the last ten years and all the marvelous people who have made
them so wonderful. I'm confident the next
ten years will be equally spectacular.
