House Hunters Peru

On Saturday, May 10th I showered and got dressed at my house in Arizona knowing that I wouldn't change my clothes or shower again until Monday.  I took a red eye from LAX to Lima (sleeping on a plane is not super-awesome) where I then got on a bus and took a 14 hour overnight bus ride to Piura, Peru where I'll be all summer.  Sleeping on the bus, however, was actually quite comfortable and I slept for eight hours.  And the food they served was so delicious.

When I got to Piura, Eliana's brother-in-law Kenny picked me up at the bus station and I stayed at his house for two days while I looked for a house for Eliana, volunteers and me.  I thought it was going to be a cinch since we already had some leads on a few house.  We looked at a house that had three bedrooms and three bathrooms that was within our budget and sounded perfect on paper.  I got there and it was super-nasty.  I've lived in a dozen or so houses in Latin American and this house would have been by far the worst I would have ever lived in and I didn't want to live there and I knew the volunteers wouldn't want to live there so we kept looking.

It really was like an episode of House Hunters International.  One house was under budget, but only had one bathroom.  One house was in the perfect location and on budget, but they would only sign a year contract.  Another house was in the right location and absolutely perfect, but it was too expensive.  We finally found an apartment on Tuesday afternoon that was right on budget and the right size that they were going to finish remodeling it that day.  After talking to the landlord I walked outside with Kenny to discuss our options, we crossed one house off the list, and then I picked the last apartment and signed the lease. 

It hasn't all been rosy since then.  They said that all the remodeling would be done on Tuesday, but it wasn't done on Thursday when the volunteers arrived.  Apparently in Peruvian time "tonight" really means "probably next week."  One of our showers doesn't work so they've had to turn the water off a bunch while they redo the piping.  We have a window that's a little broken.  There no lights or outlets in the living room.  The toilet has no toilet seat and neither toilet flushes yet so we have flush them with buckets of water.  I felt so bad as I explained the unfinished nature of our apartment to a bunch of girls who have never lived in South America, but everyone seems really cool with it and just see it as part of the adventure.  Oh, and the windows don't have curtains yet (they were supposed to be put up on Wednesday) so the sun wakes me up every morning at six. 

It'll be way nice when it's all done and nine people aren't sharing one bathroom, when we don't have to eat in the dark, when we can flush the toilets, and when Coco our landlord won't be walking around our apartment profusely apologizing for not having everything ready.  Here are some pictures:

  

Eliana and I had to buy 10 mattresses and the only way to move them was a mototaxi.  We only lost one on the trip back to the apartment (but seriously).  We had to go back and get it.

Our furniture was in storage for nine months and it was literally covered in dust and dirt.  Eliana and I were up until 1:30 am cleaning everything and putting the beds together.  It was tiring. 

We don't have internet in our apartment so our neighbor lets us rob his, but we have to sit outside.  The girls can't live without Instagram.  

 

This is what it looks like when nine people share a shower.

And this is what it looks like when four girls share one room.

This is view from my bedroom.  I love it.  

The view from one of the girls' rooms.  

My favorite part of our apartment is our rooftop patio.

The view from the roof

Honesty is the Mexican Policy

On Friday I took a solo road trip to El Paso to visit some friends from my mission.  The plan was to spend the night in El Paso at Irene's house and then spend all day Saturday with my friend Lucero in Juárez just across the border.  Lucero ended up canceling on me so I just stayed in El Paso on Saturday and didn't even get to use my passport. 

Lesly is Irene's daughter and she was seven when I knew her on my mission.  She's 17 now and is way into looking elegant all the time.  She had no problem telling me how shabby I looked.  It had been a year and a half since I last saw her and when she opened the door the first thing she said when I walked in the house was, "Whoa, you have so many grey hairs, Schilaty!"  I told her I'd dye my hair when someone told me to.  She said, "I'm telling you right now that you need to dye your hair.  You look like you're 40!"  Irene walked in a few minutes later and gave me hug.  The first thing she said was, "Look, you have so many grey hairs.  How old are you now?"  I told her that I'm 30 and she said, "No, you look older."  She then told me that I look thinner than I looked the last time she saw me.  I asked, "Did I look fat then?"  She responded, "Not necessarily, you just look healthier now."  They also told me that my eyes super-huge and that my nose is large, but it suits my face.  Mexican honesty is my favorite.

I took the two of them out to dinner and they asked me if I needed time to get ready, but I said I was just going to go dressed how I was.  Lesly, on the other hand had taken two and half hours to get ready.  So I, a tall white guy in jeans and button down shirt, walked into the restaurant with two 5'0 Mexican women dressed like they were on their way to the Oscars.  We must have looked a little silly.  Luckily the power went out at dinner and we sat in the dark for 20 minutes so our lack of coordination was less noticeable. 

Since I didn't go to Juárez on Saturday I spent the morning answering Lesly's questions about how she

Lesly, Edgar, a white dude, and Irene when I visited
El Paso in 2009

should paint her nails and do her hair for senior prom that night.  She was very concerned that her hair wouldn't look good--very concerned.  She showed me tons of pictures on her phone of what she could do with her hair and I just told her what I thought she wanted to hear which seemed to calm her.  She said, "Schilaty, you're such a nerd, but you're cool anyway.  I don't like nerds, but I like you.  You should visit more often."  Lesly gives the best compliments and I really do want to visit them more often because I had blast. 

Even though I didn't end up going to Mexico, I got to spend the weekend speaking Spanish and now I feel much more prepared to be going to Peru this Saturday.  

The Worst Interview I Ever Had

In November 2010 I applied to spend summer of 2011 working for a non-profit in El Salvador.  To make a long story very short, I was positive I would get the job, I didn't get the job, but they never told me I wasn't hired.  Apparently they forgot to call me or something and I was a little annoyed.  I got over it and spent the summer in Portugal instead so my annoyance was short lived.

Last month I got a random text from my friend Suzanne asking me if I had summer plans.  She now works for the non-profit that didn't hire me three years ago and she wanted me to apply for the same position that I hadn't gotten before.  I told her I'd be willing to interview, but the non-profit is based in Provo, UT and since they usually hire local people I assumed they wouldn't hire me.  Still, spending 30 minutes in an interview wouldn't be that bad so I agreed to do it.

Suzanne passed my resume along to one of the directors of the non-profit who promptly emailed me inviting me to come into the office in two days for a face to face interview.  I guess I was still a little peeved that I hadn't been hired three years ago so I responded a little rudely, "I don't know if Suzanne told you, but I live in Tucson so I can't come in for an interview.  I'll happily do an interview on the phone or via Skype."  I thought my living in Tucson would put an end to all this and he wouldn't want to interview me anymore, but we set up a Skype interview for two days later.

I was really disinterested in the whole thing.  I didn't want to get my hopes up since it'd been really disappointing when they had rejected me before.  I also hadn't even applied for the job and since it hadn't been on my radar I wasn't invested in it at all.  I spent zero minutes preparing for the interview.  Ten minutes before the interview I decided that I should probably change out of the t-shirt I was wearing and at least try to look professional.  I put on a shirt and tie, but kept my jeans on just because I could.  I thought it'd be funny to not wear pants at all since the interviewer would only see the top half of my body, but I wasn't quite that gutsy.

The interviewer called me 10 minutes late which really annoyed me.  He was in a swivel chair and kept twisting back and forth and looking around the room.  He didn't seem super-interested in what I was saying and I used more hyperbole and clichés than anyone should use in an interview (e.g. "It was the best experience ever").  While we were talking about my international experience I mentioned a city I'd lived in in Mexico which just so happened to be where the interviewer grew up.  He asked me what I thought about the city and I said, "Meh, it's not really my favorite place.  Of course, I've also lived in Juárez and I like it more than Juárez, but anything's better than Juarez."  As I was disparaging this man's hometown I realized that saying negative things about where my potential boss is from was a really bad idea, but I just kept going.  I felt like a derailed train that just kept going. 

The interview was less than 15 minutes long which is short for an interview.  The last question he asked me was: "On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do you want this job?"  I answered, "Honestly, like a six, I guess."  He said, "Oh?  Why's that?"  I then got very frank and said, "Look, I just heard about this job two days ago so it won't mess up my plans if I don't get it.  And I got my hopes up for this job before and I'm not gonna do that again.  If you want to hire me, great.  If not, that's fine, too.  I don't really care either way."  And with that the interview ended.  I wrote in my journal that day: "I'll be shocked if they offer me the job and I'm fine with that."

Two weeks later I got an email offering me the job.  Usually I would be excited to be offered a job, but I just read the email feeling very confused.  I didn't get it.  I had given such a bad interview that I couldn't understand why they'd want to hire me.  Perplexed, I called my friend Suzanne to ask what the deal was.  I told her how I couldn't understand why they wanted to hire me and she said that the interviewer had been impressed with my honestly and had really appreciated that I hadn't tried to suck up to him.  I've also got a lot of background and skills that they feel will make me very successful at this job.  Plus, Suzanne knows me and knows I'm not a dummy so she was really in favor of hiring me.  I was still a little confused.  I then spent the day trying to decide if I even wanted the job.  Since I hadn't thought they would offer it to me I hadn't even taken time to consider if I wanted to do it.

The job is with a non-profit called HELP International.  I would spend three months this summer working as a country director in Peru managing projects and the volunteers there.  The more I thought about it the more I realized I really wanted to go.  I then became baffled that someone was offering to pay me to spend three months in a foreign country making a difference in people's lives.  I like adventures, but I love being paid to go on adventures.  I had to say yes.  So I accepted the job and I will be spending my summer in Peru.

As I called people to tell them about the job I got more and more excited.  I went from being super-confused to incredibly excited.  It's an amazing opportunity that just fell into my lap.  I hadn't been excited about it before because it hadn't felt real, but telling people about it made it real and now I'm totally pumped. 

Here's what I've learned, if you want a job act really disinterested during the interview.  But it only works if you truly don't care.

Also, if you want to do international development work you can totally come with me to Peru.  We've still got spots available and there are also spots on the teams going to Uganda, Belize, Thailand, Fiji, and India.  It's going to be a great summer.  

And just for fun, here are some pictures:

Violeta, Cristi, and I when I spent the summer of 2008 working in Mexico

Deliciously named Peruvian crackers

My mom and I in Peru last May

A Nicely Wrapped Birthday

I turned 30 earlier this month and to celebrate I went to Disneyland for the weekend with my mom, brother, sister, and sister-in-law.  The trip was heavily subsidized by my parents and I'm grateful for that.  The weekend was a hoot and here are some of the funny moments.

When she travels my mom keeps important stuff (passport, money, credit cards, etc.) in a pouch that she wear around her neck.  It goes under her shirt and hangs at waist level which allows for convenient access.  When she was going to pay for my birthday lunch she reached into the pouch and her credit card wasn't there.  She looked on the table and it wasn't there and she looked in her purse and it wasn't there and she crawled around on the floor and it wasn't there.  She finally stood up and a bunch of stuff, including the credit card, fell out the bottom her pants.  It turns out that she'd been taking things out of the pouch, but instead of putting them back in the pouch she'd accidentally been stuffing them down her pants.

Minnie gave me an awkward birthday kiss

Jay and I loved the California Screamin' roller coaster at Disney's California Adventure.  The girls were kind enough to ride it with us a few times, but we mostly went on our own.  We started using the single rider line because it was way faster than waiting for 30 minutes even if it did mean that we had to ride with a stranger.  The first time we tried it Jay was told to stand by two empty seats.  The ride operator then asked Jay, while pointing at me, "Do you know him?" and Jay responded, "I've never seen him before in my life," which was ridiculous since we'd just been talking and laughing together.  The ride operator told me to sit with Jay on the ride and a lady just behind us said, "They look like twins!"  I'm pretty sure the operator knew we were brothers and just sat us together to be nice. 

When we got off the ride the cast member in charge of the Fast Pass line told us he'd let us in if we could answer a Disney trivia question.  Feeling very much like characters in a Mighty Python movie we accepted the challenge.  He asked us how long the Genie was in the lamp before Aladdin found him and we correctly answered 10,000 years ("10,000 years will give you such a crick in the neck!").  We got right on the ride again.  Even though the line was 30 minutes long we managed to ride the roller coaster twice in 15 minutes.  We really feel like we cheated the system. 

The whole weekend was a blast and the second best part of it (the first being spending time with my family) was that I didn't have to spend my birthday watching the Super Bowl.  That would have been the worst. 

We looked pretty silly wearing ponchos on the water rides,
but they kept us dry and Laura's hair looking spectacular

When I got back to Tucson I walked into my room and everything was covered in wrapping paper.  My first thought was, "This is hilarious and my friends love me."  My second thought was, "Wow, look at all those presents they bought me!"  My third thought was, "Oh, they just wrapped up the stuff I already had."  I actually had a really fun time unwrapping stuff because I had no idea what most of the "presents" were.  For example, I excitedly picked up a long, cylindrical "present" wondering what it could possibly be.  It turned out to be a highlighter.  Not exciting, but still fun.

Look at all those presents!

I love that Phil wrapped my lamp

And Michael wrapped my fan

Since I was in California on my actual birthday I had a few friends from church over to have a little party.  Amy Flood prepared a game called "BEN"GO that we all played.  It's just BINGO, but instead of numbers and letters the spaces were things about me (tall, reality shows, Disney movies, espeak espanish, etc.).  It was a hoot and I was impressed with Amy Flood's witty title. 

Sarah planned a little quiz about me for everyone to take.  Phil and Michael won each getting 10 correct answers out of 15.  Here are a few of the questions (correct answers below):

1) What is Ben's favorite color?

2) What is Ben's favorite TV show?

3) How tall is Ben?

4) What countries has Ben lived in?

5) Unlike most normal people, Ben doesn't like to hold ______.

6) What is Ben's favorite Disney movie?

7) Name something that Ben collects.

8) What would Ben say is his greatest talent?

It was a great birthday and being 30 feels pretty much the same as being 29.

Jay and I brought the exact same red shirt, but we wore it
on different days

Quiz answers:  

1) Blue

2) 30 Rock

3) 6'3"

4) Mexico, Bolivia, and Portugal

5) Babies

6) Mary Poppins

7) Magnets

8) Making puns

Good night, John

I moved in with John in August and despite the dozens of roommates I've had throughout my life, I've never had one quite like him.  Just by looking at us you'd think that John and I are brothers.  We're both the same height and build, have the same hair color, and the size of our noses is about one standard deviation above the mean.  Despite looking relatively the same, our personalities are totally different.

I recently took a personality test that said I was 84% extroverted.  John took the same test and was 100% introverted.  John quickly realized that I'm extremely extroverted (and slightly annoying?) so he lent me a book he has about introversion so I could understand him better.  It was a good move on his part because I really had no idea what it's like to be introverted.  According to the book, I, as an extrovert, get my energy from people and events.  John, as an introvert, gets his energy from spending time by himself and being with too many other people can be draining for him.  John enjoys company, but has to space it out a bit.  Armed with this new knowledge about John I try to give him space and allow silence to exist in the house which I usually am unable to do.  Living with John has been good for me, but I still can't help being myself.  

Here's an example of a conversation between me and John: 

Me: I'm home!
John: Oh, sorry, I didn't notice you come in.
Me: That's okay. I realize that I'm not that fun or exciting. *no reply* I'm fishing for compliments, John.
John: ...Okay. 
Compliments are hard to catch in my house.

Despite our differences, John is one of the best roommates I've ever had (and hyperbole is my favorite thing in the whole wide world!).  I have my own bathroom that John doesn't use, and yet he still fills up the soap dispenser and takes out the trash.  He's really thoughtful like that.  He also makes really delicious food that he shares with me and even bought me a steak dinner once.  No complaints from me. 

John and I often spend our evenings reading in the living room.  John, without saying a word, usually gets up, walks to his bedroom and closes the door.  I know he's an introvert and all, but it seemed odd to me that he would go to bed without saying good night, especially since we were just sitting in the same room together.  I told him that that seemed weird to me so a few nights later when we were both reading in the living room he got up to go to bed and said, "Well, see you later," and I said, "You're supposed to say good night, John," and he just mumbled in fake frustration to be funny and walked away. 

A staged picture of John and me reading

The next night when he got up to go to bed he said, "Well, it's bedtime," and I said, "You're getting so close!" and then he walked away. 

Last night I went to bed before John (which is an extremely rare occurrence) and as I was walking to my room I said, "Well see you tomorrow," and John jokingly said, "Good night!"  I replied, "Yes!  Score!" while making a victorious gesture with my arm (I can't figure out how else to describe that.  You know, it's like the gesture you make when you're trying to get a semi to honk his horn, but down by your side.  How do you say that?).  John had finally wished me a good night, and it sure was.  

Bolivian Payphones

In the fall of 2006 I did an internship with LDS Employment Resource Services in Santa Cruz, Bolivia.  It was awesome and the funnest thing I did during my time as an undergrad at BYU.  While I was there I took pictures of myself "talking" on the payphones around town.  I'm sharing these pictures seven years after they were taken because I'm in a 2 1/2 hour long class and I'm bored.  So enjoy pictures of 22 year old Ben phony phoning on funny phones.  

This phone was in a park by my house that the locals described
as "dangerous."  While I was there I got heckled and yelled at.
I didn't go back.  

Happy Borthday, Michael!

This is Michael.  Michael's 26th birthday was in July.  He was living in California for the summer far away from friends and family.  His birthday was very uneventful and he felt forgotten and uncelebrated (and with good reason).  His dad sent him a happy birthday text and his mom called him late that night to ask him how his birthday went.  How do you think it went, mom?! 

Michael frequently brings up that no one cared about his birthday.  A week ago Saturday a group of us were eating at the Guadalajara Grill and Michael was once again explaining how his family doesn't love him because they basically forgot his birthday. I leaned over to Amy Flood and said, "We should throw Michael a surprise birthday party so he stops complaining."  She loved the idea and we started scheming.  I was originally thinking that we would have a "Happy Birthday, Michael" sign, a cake, we'd sing, and that would be it.  Well, I told Lindsey and Sarah about the plan we'd hatched in the parking lot and they loved it.  Loved it so much that the little gesture I envisioned transformed into a full blown party. 

As the party planning continued we thought of more and more ways to make fun of Michael.  He claims to be able to do a spot on impression of Elmo, but we have our doubts since he's too embarrassed to show it to any of us.  Elmo quickly became a party theme.  Sarah made Elmo cupcakes and I got an Elmo piñata. 

Pinterest can do anything

Sarah, Lindsey, and Amy with an effigy of Michael

Sarah and Lindsey made a banner that said, "Family Love Michael" which is a joke from Arrested Development; Michael's favorite show that he's always quoting. 

Save our Bluths!

They also thought it'd be hilarious to throw copious amounts of confetti when he walked in the door which we of course did.  Since yesterday was nowhere near Michael's actual birthday, he was a little confused when he walked into the room and we started shouting at him while smothering him in confetti, but he caught on to what was happening pretty fast. 

"I don't know what's happening, but I like it."

Amy Flood was in charge of party games and she did not disappoint.  First, we played a game in which we had to answer 10 questions about Michael.  And then we played "Pin the Michael on the Audi."  Michael loves his Audi as much as a man can love his car so Amy drew something that resembled a car on a poster board and then printed off a bunch of pictures of Michael's face that we then had to pin on the Audi while blindfolded.  It was a hoot. 

Michael wasn't as successful as Josh, who probably cheated

We then went outside to break the piñata.  We hadn't planned out this part and didn't know where would be a good place to attack the piñata.  We ended up on the dirt road in front of their house which, due to all the huge potholes in it, looks more like Iraq than a street.  Josh climbed up a tree that was covered in spikes and hung the piñata for us.  Amy Flood then maliciously knocked off both of Elmo's legs in one swift swipe.  

Elmo is waving good-bye

Amy Flood was ruthless

The night before the party Lindsey and I were talking with Michael and he was once again complaining about his birthday and we both had to try hard to not reveal the awesome secret we were concealing.  Michael misspoke and said borthday instead of birthday so we started calling the Sunday night shenanigans Michael's borthday party.  

How Michael felt before his borthday party

How he felt after

My original plan for the party was to only have a cake and sing "Happy Birthday," but oddly enough we ended up not doing either of those things.  The girls really took my little idea and made it into something super-awesome.  Mormons sure know how to have a good time.

And now that Michael can no longer complain about his forgotten birthday, he can move on to complaining about other things like slow drivers, the shabbiness of Tucson, far away parking, and people that care too much about ultimate frisbee.